A dear friend once told me, “You have a hard life. And the reason why is that you have a really mean mind.”
She knew me well (lived with me actually). Maybe she didn’t have to be a mind reader to know I had a mean mind; she just saw it in action. Not to be mysterious about this: What I mean by “mean” is that my mind runs a continually looping self-judgment tape and generates constant niggling doubts about every choice I make.
My guess is that somewhere between 40-70% of people are similarly afflicted. (This is not a scientific claim.) I think that is precisely why so many people say that weed makes them anxious. What weed commonly does – especially sativas – is amplify the activity of the mind. So if the mind’s activity is habitually self-sabotaging and/or unkind, weed just makes that all the more intense; it causes negative thoughts’ impacts to be felt more powerfully, because the psyche’s numbing defenses are weakened.
But for a fortunate some of us—including myself—including, perhaps, you—weed also has the effect of softening mean thoughts, putting perspective and space around them, allowing self-compassion to arise.
I’ve also found that weed often makes it easier for me to relax into conversation with people. I become naturally transparent, and naturally attentive and interested.