My Humble Aspiration

Humble aspirations regarding hatred, evil, and horrible news.

I can’t seem to unglue my eyes from all the horrible news.

I’ve been feeling like a flat tire. It’s hard to work up enthusiasm for anything, given where our world appears to be heading now that Trump is president again.

It is shocking to me how evil he is and how evil are his enablers in Congress and the judiciary and the media and billionaire-sphere.

I’m blown away that he has already taken action to obstruct or eliminate any further development of clean energy. I’m stunned at his casual cruelty towards transgender individuals, and his merciless stripping away of their protections in and out of government. I’m horrified by his summary dismissal of all federal diversity, equity, and inclusion employees.

Okay. You know the rest, I assume, unless you’ve been (wisely perhaps) shielding your eyes and heart. I won’t continue with this grim itemization.

I feel so much grief for the small children in my life.

And I feel so much hatred, it astonishes me.

I don’t like to hate. But I do hate Trump, and Musk, and Vance, and Mike Johnson, and others.

A Friend’s Perspective

A friend told me that by hating, I’m actually colluding with, conspiring with, joining with (I forget the specific verb he used) Trump, Musk, et. al. because I’m choosing, along with them, to propagate the “frequency” of hatred and separation.

I told him I do not choose to hate, that the hatred arises naturally in me, and that to deny it would be to repress and direct it inward.

He pointed out that I still have a choice as to whether or not I give expression to hatred out in the world. (He was, in part, alluding to a Facebook post I had made in which, among other things, I stated that I want to see Trump suffer a debilitating and painful stroke.)

As for the darkness inside me that I refuse to deny, my friend identified that as the Jungian shadow, and reminded me that, per Jungian psychology, our lifelong work is to integrate and transmute our shadows, not give them unbridled reign over us.

Something Similar

A few days earlier, my Buddhist godson reminded me that a single human lifetime is an eye blink in eternity – a wisp of air; a flash in the pan – and we’ve all incarnated countless times, with the ultimate task of unwinding the karma and samsaric impressions and attachments that keep us bound, keep us from knowing our true nature, which is spacious and free and infinite and pure and loving.

He noted that I have enormous advantages in comparison to Donald Trump, in that many people and situations in my life facilitate emotional safety, authenticity, and an open heart. Trump, by contrast, has nothing going on (that we know of) in his environment that would support or influence him to operate differently from how he has lived his entire life – that is, with a contracted heart.

We are all at the effect of an inconceivably vast chain of causes and conditions, all of us trapped in varying levels of delusion and reactivity. The only sane response, when we step back and see reality from this perspective, is compassion for all beings.

I told my godson that was all well and good, but I needed compassion for myself first, and my inner child is part of me, and I wanted to ally with my inner child, not shame him for his “unspiritual” hatred and rage.

Not a matter of shaming, replied my godson. But with your inner child, just like with a physical child, you have to parent, provide guidance, set boundaries, not just let the child run crazy.

Subdued Activism

When I was in my 20s I committed civil disobedience and went to jail a few times. I walked across the country for global nuclear disarmament. I went to Nevada to protest the nuclear test site there. I participated in numerous marches and protest actions. I joined groups.

This kind of activism does not call to me now. I still think it’s probably necessary in various forms, though not for me anymore.

But I heard about an organization called Braver Angels that arranges civil dialogue between individuals of differing political orientations who are willing to listen to each other, so that’s where I’m going next. I will participate with that, mainly out of curiosity.

Curiosity’s good. I wonder if curiosity and hatred can coexist. Maybe I’ll find out.

Ha ha. Just kidding.

If my godson and Buddhism are correct, and we have all lived countless lifetimes and can “look forward” (so to speak) to countless more, maybe simply learning how not to reflexively hate back would be a great accomplishment for a single lifetime.

I’ll give it a shot. I’ll let you know how it goes.